How to make ourselves feel better? How to let go of things and move on? 

Learning the following model has been tremendously helpful. 

CTFAR model:

Circumstances - Everything in our external surroundings. This refers to other individuals in our lives, the weather, and everything we cannot control. 

Thoughts - These are sentences in our heads that we can control. A human being gets 60,000 thoughts in a day and these thoughts create feelings.

Feelings - Based on the thoughts, everybody can have a different feeling in the samecircumstance. This might result in a different action being performed. 

Actions - Things we do or do not do to achieve the results we want. 

Results - Those actions give us a certain result in our lives. 

Let’s take an example to have a better understanding of this model. You get on the weighing scale and see that you have gained 50 pounds. You may think you are fat and that you will never get better. These are your thoughts, whereas, someone else might think that it’s totally fine.

So, what you think creates a negative feeling in you, hence, the actions that you might take are what most of us call ‘buffering’.

This is when we try to avoid our feelings and end up either eating more or watching Netflix distract ourselves.

As a result, no action is taken to improve the result you want, and you continue having the same circumstance. 

50-50 Concept: 

Life is 50-50.

You will not always be happy.

You will feel sad sometimes.

Tricks from life coaching that are useful: 

 Create a minimum baseline: Do minimum things each day. Jot it down on a calendar and start crossing out.

Practice Meditation: Do 5-10 mins of breathing and pray to relax your brain. Concentrate on your present.  

Feeling presence: We are either reliving our past and feeling the pain or worry about our future. Stop doing this. Focus on your present and do things to make you feel happy. Awareness of thoughts: Become aware of what you are thinking.

Pay attention. One way to do this is by writing down everything that you think on a piece of paper. This will clear your brain and you will become aware of your current situation. 

Final Note:

Ask yourself what your life goal is? What feeling do you want to have?