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25, Podcast  Oct 21, 2020

Many people associate happiness, success and wealth in life to the choice of a life partner. One of the most important decisions in anyone’s life is to find a compatible and understanding spouse. 

Marriage is highly encouraged in Islam. Surah Rum (Ayat 21) from the Holy Qura'n mentions the importance of marriage and tells its purpose - to show mercy and love to each other and to be kind. Unlike marriage, divorce is discouraged, however, even our religion does not allow staying in an abusive or unhappy relationship. Instead of hurting someone and making their lives miserable, it’s advised to separate ways.  

An important aspect to look at when choosing a spouse is to give higher weight to character and kindness of heart instead of financial status. Even if the person is financially weak, Allah will provide for you if you have chosen his character over his wealth. 

But how do we know if someone is not an imposter and really has good character? There are certain steps you can follow for that: 

Run a background check – make an informed decision

Validate Credentials

Verify educational background

Once verified, the next step is to get pre-marital counselling. This can be a great start to address several important questions for couples. One of the modules in the counselling session discusses finances. The questions in this segment look at; will the couple have joint/separate bank accounts, will both partners be working, how will the cost of living and expenditure of kids be covered, how will any previously acquired debts be repaid, etc. 

Some other aspects to discuss with your partner before marriage are:

Type of wedding and expenditure on festivities

 Future living plans and career goals

Emotional, physical and mental health 

Personal values and beliefs

Upbringing of kids

Political views and hobbies

Final Note: 

You and your partner do not have to have the same life ideologies. You both may have contrasting hobbies, views and can be different in several ways but you should identify activities/discussion topics you would like to have. Know what you both like to do together and build your relationship from up there.

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